In the middle of the lunchtime rush today, one of the students
said, “Mr. Kovac, I want to get you an enema as an end of the school-year gift.”
I was like, “Whaaaaat???”
The student seemed perplexed at my response, and said, “It’s
a little figurine, called The Protector of Books. You know, an enema.”
I could barely control myself, snorting and doubled-over. “Um…
I don’t think you mean ‘enema.’ That’s something else, entirely!”
“Crap. Oh my god. Well, it’s a word that sounds kind of like
enema.”
I told him he needed to go look up the word “enema.”
Now thoroughly embarrassed, but not sure why, he said, “Don’t
tell anybody I said that! I don’t know what it means, but don’t tell anybody!”
I was still laughing pretty hard, like a Mean Girl, and
taunting him. “I’m going to tell EVERYBODY.”
“No, just forget I said that!”
I began to finally take pity on him, and said, “Thank you,
though, that sounds awesome. I like that, ‘Protector of Books.’ But really, you
need to look up the word ‘enema,’ it’s pretty funny…”
“No! I don’t want to know what I said!”
*
So, to sum up this little episode: A student told me he was
thinking of buying me a very thoughtful gift for the end of the school year,
and I mocked him mercilessly. I will work on being less of a dick.
*
