SMELLS LIKE LIBRARY (the comic)

DO IT RIGHT

(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

THE BOOK, THE BOOK, THE BOOK IS ON FIRE...

   
     Last week our field custodian brought me a textbook (the one you see above) he'd found out by the baseball field. Somebody had set the book on fire in the press box, then tried to put it out with a fire extinguisher stolen from the English wing.
     I have no idea if the same person set it on fire AND tried to put it out, but I like to imagine one of our hyper-disciplined over-achievers having a moment of wild rebellion and then panicking and trying to do damage control. Maybe sobbing, covered in flame-retardant foam, moaning, "What have I done....?"
     At any other school this would be a standard bit of vandalism, but here it's actually surprising.
     As you can see in the picture, it's kind of arty and fascinating, taken out of context. It left a drift of sandy particles all over my desk.

JUST MEAN

          Yesterday was the last day of school for students, so the custodians must have cleaned out lockers last night.  When I walked into the Library this morning, grimy wayward textbooks and binders were all over the checkout desk, and piled high on my desk chair.  Seriously, most of them were covered in a thin film of sticky dirty grime.  I said, "Fuck THIS, man!" because I really hate dealing with textbooks.  They are not Library property, we don't purchase them or store them, and we're not responsible for them.  So there.
          Anyway, I turned and saw this enticing Toll House chocolate chip cookie box sitting on the table behind the circ desk, with lurid cookie pics all over it, and for a moment thought, "Oh!  A gift for ME?  For making the Library so awesome?"  But no, upon closer inspection it was filled with dirty, greasy old combination padlocks the kids didn't want anymore, or left on their lockers, or something.
          This is what the end of the school year is like, though.  Everyone madly trying to dump a bunch of crap on somebody else before they leave for summer break.